Next week is Christmas, the second without Jim. People say that time eases the pain of loss but in reality, nothing eases the grief of a missing part of a whole--the pulse of a family heartbeat gone. Yes, we go through the motions of everyday life, seek out and appreciate the blessings we are given, find the joy in our children, and move forward in the spirit of Jim's will, but there will always be the constant reminders of good times and laughter yet to be shared, family memories yet to be cherished, and a certain hope for the future never to be realized. The holidays seem to only emphasize the loss, even more so this year because the state of shock was on our side last year.
On May 18, 2008, my brother Jim, Lt. James A. Pagano of the Cranston Fire Department, in fact, was shot to death by his next door neighbor in a lovely cul-de-sac named Daisy Court. When Jimmy told me he was moving his family to Daisy Court in 2001, I said, "Jim, it sounds like a street of complete happiness. You, Dri (his wife), and the kids will be so happy there!" Can you imagine a brutal murder on a street named Daisy Court?
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